


Not Entirely Hopeless

by alkjira



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Bilbo Baggins, First Time, M/M, Multi, Oblivious Bilbo, Oral Sex, PWP, Smut, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the longest time Bilbo had thought he would have to choose. </p>
<p>Wait, no, that was not entirely right.</p>
<p>  <a href="http://nastyrutobuka.tumblr.com/post/137132161190/click-for-some-bilbo-spit-roasting-for-linddzz">Based on rutobuka’s delicious art</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Entirely Hopeless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rutobuka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rutobuka/gifts).



> Okay, so this is like, two pages’ worth of set-up, and then my brain was like FOR THE LOVE OF CHOCOLATE, GET TO THE SMUT ALREADY.  
> Just so you know.

For the longest time Bilbo had thought he would have to choose.  
  
Wait, no, that was not entirely right.  
  
For the _longest_ time Bilbo had thought that he was entirely hopeless, being in ~~love~~ lust with two people who didn't want him back.

Yes, that was more like it.

Except… it hadn't been that long. Just a few months. And... then he'd realised that they did want him. Both of them. Not that they’d said so, not with words at least, but how else was he supposed to interpret… well, everything.

Everything from the way Thorin’s ears turned red when he offered Bilbo his coat as a blanket, or how Bofur’s smile was a little brighter but also a little more hesitant when it was aimed his way, and how they both just seemed to be _watching_ him. (Something he only knew about since he was watching them both right back.)

Not to mention the _way_ they were watching him.

And that was when Bilbo had _really_ started wringing his hands because how was he supposed to choose only one of them? Especially when the two of them seemed to be good friends in turn, more often than not placing their bedrolls next to each other at night, and sitting together and talking by the fire.  
  
Choosing between Bofur and Thorin... that was like being asked to pick between cake or pie, or green or yellow. Summer or spring. It just, it couldn’t be done.  
  
So he avoided them, as best as one could when on a quest together. With only a dozen other people. All incredibly nosy.

\- o - o - o -  
  
“What’s your type then?” Nori asked, starling Bilbo quite badly as he’d been under the belief that he was all alone.

Alone… Strangely it seemed like a very foreign concept after only a few months on the road. And stranger still, not a particularly tempting one either.

When they’d arrived to Rivendell Bilbo had rushed to take advantage of both baths and an actual bed, and a _door_ ; which could be _closed_ , but already on their second day there he’d drifted away from the room Lord Elrond had given him.

Looking for… something. Well, fine, breakfast, first and foremost, but even after breakfast Bilbo had not returned to his room, choosing instead to settle down by one of the ponds to watch the red and gold fishes living there. He hadn't been there long enough to decide where to go next when Nori had found him.

After flailing - and almost falling into said pond - Bilbo turned to Nori; who was looking _particularly_ innocent, as he settled down on the pond's marble edge, kicking off his boots, tugging off his socks and scaring the fish half to death by unceremoniously plonking his feet down into the water.

“My- type?”

“You only go for-“ Nori waved his hands at chest height in a rude gesture Bilbo took to mean someone generously endowed. “Or are you just not into-“ Another rude gesture, one that made Bilbo’s eyes widen.  
  
“Nori, stop that, what if Lord Elrond would come by and see you.”

“Eh, I hear he’s a father,” Nori shrugged. “I would say he’s already figured it out. Unless there’s some truth in that rumour about Elves planting their babies.”

“Planting..?”

Nori waved him off. “Besides the point. And I don’t mean to put you on the spot, I just want to be sure we don’t have a broody king and moping Bofur unless it’s necessary. Both of them are beginning to drive me 'round the bend. So..." Nori leaned back and rested his weight on his elbows, squinting up at Bilbo in the bright sunlight. "You do know they’re both in love with you?”

“They’re not!” Bilbo protested. “They just-“  
  
Nori snorted and shook his head, foot splashing a bit of water up at the both of them.

“They _are_?” Bilbo asked in a smaller voice. Oh, that made things even worse. If they both _loved_ him, how could he pick just one of them? And leave the other all alone.

“You truly didn’t know?” Nori asked, shadowing his eyes with one hand.  
  
“I- not they were in love with me,” Bilbo murmured, twisting his hands together in his lap. “I thought- I thought they were just looking for a tumble?”

“Leaving aside how blind you are,” Nori said and bumped his leg into Bilbo's. “You don’t sound overjoyed now that you know. Want me to talk to them, ask them to mope a little more discretely?”  
  
“They’ve not- they’ve not even talked to _me_ about it,” Bilbo said, feeling something like annoyance building inside him. “It’s not like I’ve turned them down, either of them.”  
  
“You’ve only avoided them since we left Bree,” Nori shrugged one shoulder. “I think they got the message.” He bumped Bilbo’s leg again. “Give them a little time and they’ll get over it."  
  
They sat together in silence, broken when Nori hummed. "At least you’ve given them plenty of common ground. I’m pretty sure I saw them sneaking away for a snog a few days ago. Well, Bofur was dragging Thorin along but he didn’t look like he minded in the least." The Dwarf hummed again. "Yeah, give them time and I'm sure they'll-”

“You saw them do what?” Bilbo asked, snapping around to look at Nori quickly enough that his neck protested a little.  
  
Nori looked a little concerned. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what a snog is.”  
  
Bilbo spluttered. “I know what a snog is, but- the two of them?”  
  
Nori tilted his head to the side. “Just because you don’t find them attractive-“

Feeling as if he’d lost track of the conversation a long long time ago Bilbo shook his head. “But I _do_.”  
  
Now Nori also looked confused. “What’s the problem then? You’re just not looking for something right now? Because I’m not sure if you remember what Bofur said before you fainted, back in your hole-"

"Smial-"  
  
"But this is not the time to make grand complicated plans for the future. If you want something, go for it. Or you won't be sure to live long enough to see it happen.”

Aghast Bilbo stared at him, and not just for the unwelcome reminder about dragons and possible evisceration. “You just said that they’re as good as courting. And now you’d like me to break them up?”

“What, no I didn’t say that." Nori sat up. "They like kissing each other, they’d like to be kissing you. You'd like to be kissing them, I think.” Nori narrowed eyes. “Are all Hobbits this thick? If you're interested, _please_ put them, and the rest of us, out of our misery."

\- o - o - o -

_If you want something, go for it._  
  
That’s what Nori had said. And that was what Bilbo was doing. Quite decisively so. But it wasn’t like Thorin or Bofur had protested. Quite the contrary.  
  
“Bilbo,” Thorin breathed, his hand fluttering over honey golden curls for a moment, fingers all but melting into the locks when Bilbo turned his head into the caress.  
  
“Just like that,” Bofur said. “Mahal, you look- you _feel_ -“ He rocked forward a little more, another slick inch of cock sinking into Bilbo’s arse, spreading him so wide but also feeling incredibly _good_.

“Mmhm, you feel wonderful,” Bilbo said dreamily. “Both of you,” he added, pressing a kiss to Thorin’s cock before taking the head back into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the underside of it again because it had made Thorin grunt before and-  
  
Bilbo shivered when the same low, rough sound escaped Thorin’s throat. He sank further down, until his lips met Thorin’s fist, and then backed off again to tease the head a little more.  
  
If his mouth hadn’t been busy Bilbo would have needed to hide a smile when Thorin’s thighs wobbled.  
  
It appeared to be was quite fortunate that Thorin was the one making use of the bed, even if it was only for sitting.  
  
Admittedly it felt a little wrong that they had a bed, a properly large, freshly made bed, but only one of them was actually benefiting from it, and he wasn't even entirely clear on how exactly they'd ended up on the floor, however Bilbo was _not_ about to suggest a change of scenery at this point.  
  
Moving meant stopping. And he didn’t want to stop. Stopping was a terrible idea. Stopping was-  
  
Bofur’s hands tightened a little on Bilbo's arse as he bottomed out and Bilbo's thoughts disappeared like sugar poured into boiling water.  
  
“You doing all right?” Bofur asked, a breathless note to his voice. His thumbs were stroking small concerned circles into Bilbo’s flesh. “You rushed us a bit, getting you ready.”  
  
Collecting his thoughts, which took quite the bit of effort, Bilbo hummed around Thorin's cock, hoping that it would do as an answer. It made Thorin groan at any rate, a lovely sound, and Bilbo shuddered happily and pushed back against Bofur, and again to meet him when Bofur started to move.

Oh that was just _gorgeous_ , long firm strokes, and the small grunting sounds Bofur made, and Thorin hot and hard on Bilbo's tongue, hands touching him so carefully.

A small shift of balance and Bilbo had a hand free to wrap around his own cock as it was beginning to protest the cruel neglect inflicted upon it.  
  
“Oh-“ Bofur groaned. “You- Thorin, look at him.”

“I am,” Thorin said throatily. “And at you.”  
  
“Oh,” Bofur said again, his rhythm faltering for a moment before he picked it back up. “Enjoying the view are you?”  
  
“Very much so.”  
  
Thick fingers stroked along the shell of Bilbo’s ear and now it was Bilbo’s turn to wobble.

He wanted a few more extra hands so he could explore the thick hair covering Thorin's chest and stomach, while continuing to holding himself up, and tugging at his cock, and a pair of extra eyes at the back of his neck wouldn't go amiss either so he could watch Bofur.  
  
Letting Thorin's cock slide from his mouth Bilbo turned to look at Bofur over his shoulder. His cheeks were flushed, the pink wandering down over his chest and shoulders, and Bilbo got a little distracted for a while watching the play of Bofur's muscles beneath his skin. He only remembered what he'd been busy doing when Thorin's cock bumped against his cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry," Thorin said, when Bilbo glanced up at him. "I-"  
  
Bilbo licked his lips. "No, no, that's-" A large pearl of fluid welled up at the tip of Thorin's cock and Bilbo's tongue flicked over his lips again. "Quite all right," he breathed before leaning down to chase the drop down with a slow lick.

"I'm going to embarrass myself here," Bofur warned. "If the two of you continue to look so-" he broke off in a string of curses when Bilbo clenched down, to see if he remembered how to. It _had_ been some time since he'd bothered taking anyone to his bed.

"Bofur, if you spill first," Bilbo mused as a plan started to form. "Thorin can have a turn. I'd be properly slick then."

Thorin was a little bigger than Bofur, and-  
  
The sudden hot splashes against his cheek surprised him, and Bilbo turned his attention to Thorin just in time to see his expression twist into something that almost looked like pain. The next spurts ended up over Bilbo's shoulder and on his back, and behind him Bofur groaned and reached up to drag his fingers through it.

"I didn't even get to taste you," was all Bilbo could think to say in his surprise, and Thorin groaned and his cock twitched a final time, letting out a small pearly white string of come, running down his tightly clenched fist.

When Thorin more or less slid down on the floor Bilbo tried to back up and give him some room, but he couldn't get very far with Bofur behind him.

In other words, he got more inches of Bofur's cock inside him than he managed to move away from Thorin, which... wasn't a bad outcome in anyway as Bilbo was now properly squished between the two of them, and so full of cock he imagined he could feel it in the back of his throat.

Raising a not entirely steady hand to Bilbo's face Thorin gently brushed his thumb over Bilbo's somewhat messy cheek before hunching down to kiss him.

Bofur was cursing again, a low stream of mutters, and his hands kneaded Bilbo's arse as his thrusts rocked them both forward into Thorin.

"Let me," Thorin whispered against Bilbo's mouth, as his hand stroked down Bilbo's soft stomach, and Bilbo didn't understand what he meant but he nodded anyway, because _anything_.  
  
What Thorin had meant was to get his hand on Bilbo's cock, which happily enjoyed the attention.

"So wet," Thorin murmured as he gently worked his fist up and down in short tugs.  
  
"You-" Bofur half groaned, half laughed. "You came all over him, of course- of course he's _wet_ , oh Mahal's _balls_ -"

Bofur's next thrust made Bilbo lose his balance and he ended up with his head pillowed on Thorin's thigh, arse still up in the air as Bofur plowed into him, and Thorin managed to keep fisting his cock.  
  
Not a bad outcome at all, Bilbo thought to himself as he eyed Thorin's cock (which still looked plenty plump and thick), wanting to see if it would be possible to get a second go around after all.


End file.
